Remy Martin *smh*: You Dun Fucked Up Now

Woody Harrelson really hit it on the head in White Men Can't Jump when he said something along the lines of black people would rather look cool and lose, then look dorky and win. Note: This doesn't refer to all black people but every now and again we get glaring examples.

Case and point, dumbass Remy Martin. I'm sure most of yall have heard about her fiasco over the weekend. If not, you can catch it on just about every Hip Hop-related website but here's the gist of it. Remy Martin was in New York's trendy meat-packing--can't they come up with another name for this area--district partying and bullshittin. She was with some friends (weed stashers) and probably some groupies and goons. So, for some unknown reason, Remy goes to do something else and leaves the designer bag under the supervision of her friend. What she was doing hasn't been stated yet but it can assumed it was probably some dumb shit she wasn't supposed to be doing in the first place (blowin' a guy, snortin' rocks or tuckin' her penis). So, when she returns to said friend and bag someone had lifted 2 stacks ($2,000) out of the bag. Now to me, 2 stacks is a helluva lot of money--possibly enough to hit someone with a blunt object while they're not looking but kill nah. But to her, it doesn't seem like hardly enough to make a big deal over ya know with all the bricks she's flipped. I mean it's not the first time a rapper's been robbed i.e. Young Buck, Prodigy, T.I., Jeezy, Bow Wow (yup, just about everybody). But this bitch goes all O'Dog and caps her friend in the stomach. Then, she stupidly tries to getaway in a loaded blue Escalade--like nigga's won't see her--and here's the kicker the dummy crashes. Later, she turns herself in.

So, in order to keep her street credibility she blammed the chick right on the spot and now has to figure out how she's gonna beat what looks like an unbeatable case. She's not facing misdemeanors, these are major Fs (attempted murder). She definitely don't have the Hilton dough so when the judge drops the gavel on this one, expect to see Remy in 2040. If anything was to be learned from recent rap going-ons it would be that you have pimp's tricks beat up the perp and keep it moving but because of Remy's newly found gully juice, she now has to figure out how she's gonna replace the 2 stacks and the 250 stacks she just blew on bail and how to manage to not become apart of the jailhouse commerce.

Just another example of when keeping it real goes wrong.